This was an AWESOME book! Honestly, I learned so so much from it, which is why I thought I’d write a blog post about it. The overarching theme of the book is that our relationship with God transforms us and consequently all of our relationships. Our vertical & horizontal relationships – our relationship with God and our relationships with other people – are interconnected...which is drastically different from the way we typically evaluate relationships.
The book began by discussing why we should even bother with relationships at all (a valid question, I think we’d all agree at times). Since the Fall, sin has run rampant in our world; but at the cross, Jesus brought grace to sinners. So we live in this in between stage between Jesus’ death and resurrection and when Jesus will come back and install His new Kingdom. This is a tough place where sin and grace abound, and we see this so clearly in our relationships. But the purpose of relationships, just like the rest of Creation, is to point to God. We often forget that and get so self-absorbed and treat our relationships to get what we want out of them. To reverse this pattern, we need to remember that our relationships aren’t an end of themselves but instead another means to reflect God’s glory and grace.
To put this into perspective...God is the only properly functioning community in the universe; God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Sprit – the Trinity – live in perfect unity. And God ripped apart the perfect, eternal love relationship between Father, Son, and Spirit to allow us to be restored to God and reconciled to one another. So the authors conclude the introduction with, “If you wonder, Why bother? the answer is, ‘Because God did.’”
Okay, so since this wisdom all belongs to the authors, I’m going to just bullet point some of the key statements that really impacted me (and if you want to read more, then definitely read this book!!!!)
The book began by discussing why we should even bother with relationships at all (a valid question, I think we’d all agree at times). Since the Fall, sin has run rampant in our world; but at the cross, Jesus brought grace to sinners. So we live in this in between stage between Jesus’ death and resurrection and when Jesus will come back and install His new Kingdom. This is a tough place where sin and grace abound, and we see this so clearly in our relationships. But the purpose of relationships, just like the rest of Creation, is to point to God. We often forget that and get so self-absorbed and treat our relationships to get what we want out of them. To reverse this pattern, we need to remember that our relationships aren’t an end of themselves but instead another means to reflect God’s glory and grace.
To put this into perspective...God is the only properly functioning community in the universe; God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Sprit – the Trinity – live in perfect unity. And God ripped apart the perfect, eternal love relationship between Father, Son, and Spirit to allow us to be restored to God and reconciled to one another. So the authors conclude the introduction with, “If you wonder, Why bother? the answer is, ‘Because God did.’”
Okay, so since this wisdom all belongs to the authors, I’m going to just bullet point some of the key statements that really impacted me (and if you want to read more, then definitely read this book!!!!)
- People made in God’s likeness (so all of us) were made for community. Only when human beings live in community do we fully reflect the likeness of God.
- The Bible assumes that relationships this side of eternity will be messy and require a lot of work.
- Our biggest problem is inside us and we can’t fix it on our own.
- Sin affects us in six basic ways: self-centeredness, self-rule, self-sufficiency, self-righteousness, self-satisfaction, self-taught
- Every good relationship we have is a gift of God’s grace. Left to ourselves, nothing good would happen!
- While the control of sin has been broken, the sin that remains in us still puts up a real fight.
- Ephesians 4.......You can’t take the gospel seriously and not take your relationships seriously.
- God’s purpose is our growth in grace.
- God’s purpose is to give us what we really need. He wants the things that ruled Christ’s heart to rule ours as well.
- Beneath all our conflict with others lies a deeper conflict between these two agendas: ours and God’s.
- The two stones in relationship foundation are identity and worship. When I live out of a biblical sense of who I am (identity) and rest in who God is (worship), I will be able to build a healthy relationship with you.
- Our quest for personal identity is meant to drive us back to God as Creator so that we find our meaning and purpose in Him.
- A large part of the biblical story is about identity. It reveals the wrong reactions that come when we forget who we are, as well as the godly responses that come with remembering...Much of the drama of God’s people is a drama of identity.
- To love you as I should, I must worship God as Creator. Affirm the glory of God in the way He made everyone around me!
- None of us ever gets to be in relationship with a finished person. Here on Earth, all relationships are between two sinners.
- Words have power. Our words always have direction. They’re going either toward life or toward death. Word problems are heart problems.
- God is zealous to do whatever it takes to regain the affection of our hearts. He doesn’t do this because He needs us; He does it because He loves us.
- With forgiveness, you make a conscious choice to absorb the cost yourself.
- The Father emptied Heaven of its greatest treasure so that you could be forgiven.
- Our relationships are lived between the already and the not yet.
- We are all people living in a fallen world, but with a faithful God.
- Repentance and faith must be your daily lifestyle.
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